Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants.

Forbids any establishment from charging admission to see a one-armed piano player.

Firemen are required to practice for 15 minutes before attending a fire.

Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.

It is unlawful for any male person, within the corporate limits of the (city), to wink at any female person with whom he is unacquainted.

Minors in Kansas City are not allowed to purchase cap pistols; but they may buy shotguns freely.

In St. Louis, it's illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket.

Saco, MO Women are forbidden from wearing hats that "might frighten timid persons, children, or animals."

In St. Louis, it is illegal for a fireman to rescue a woman in a nightgown; in order to be rescued, a woman must be fully clothed.

Missouri considers drunkenness an "inalienable right."

Kirkland: law forbids bees to fly over the village or through any of its streets.

Urbana: It is against the law for a monster to enter the corporate limits.

Cicero: prohibits humming on public streets on Sundays.

Zion: it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animals kept as pets.

Chicago: people who are diseased, maimed, mutilated, or deformed to the point of being "an unsightly or disgusting object" are banned from going out in public.

Chicago: it is illegal to fish in one's pajamas.

Chicago: it is illegal to take a French Poodle to the opera.

State Law: it is illegal to speak English. The officially recognized language is "American."

Guernee: it is illegal for women weighing more than 200 lbs. to ride horses in shorts.

Joliet: it is illegal to mispronounce the name Joliet.

St. Croix: , women are not allowed to wear anything red in public.

State law: It is illegal to cut a woman's hair.

State law: It is illegal to kiss on a train.

State Law: Cheese making requires a cheese maker's license;
Limburger cheese making requires a master cheese maker's license.

In Menominee, Michigan it is illeagal to walk backwards on first street
with a pickle in your mouth!
(Sent in by Sean Nelson).

Women may face up to 30 days in jail if they impersonate Santa Claus.

Minneapolis: double-parkers can be put on a chain gang.

Brainerd: -Every man is required by law to grow a beard.

State Law: It's illegal to tease skunks.

Lehigh:. Selling doughnut holes in this city is verboten.

State Law: It is illegal for a mother to give her daughter a perm without a state license.

Omaha: If a child burps during a church service, his/her parents may be arrested.

Waterloo: barbers are forbidden to eat onions between 7 am and 7 PM.

Omaha barbers are forbidden to shave their customer's chests.

State Law: It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.

State Law: It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.

State Law: Movies that show police officers being struck, beaten, or treated in an offensive manner are forbidden.
(I actually think this is a good one)

State law: Beer & pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.

Fargo: one may be jailed for wearing a hat while dancing, or even wearing one to a function where dancing is taking place.

State law: -It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.

Kansas state law requires pedestrians crossing the highways at night to wear tail lights.

Russell: it is against the law to have a musical car horn.

State law: No one may catch fish with his bare hands in Kansas.

State Law: It is illegal for restaurants to sell cherry pie a la mode on Sundays.

Wichita: a man's mistreatment of his mother-in-law may not be used as grounds for divorce.

Wichita: it is illegal to carry a concealed bean snapper.

Lang: it is illegal to ride a mule down Main Street in August, unless the animal is wearing a straw hat.

Natoma: it is illegal to throw a knife at anyone wearing a striped suit.